In recent years, ‘trauma’ has become a buzzword in discussions about mental health.  Often, my clients ask me if experiences they are describing fit the definition for ‘trauma’.  What I sometimes feel they are really asking me is, ‘Does my experience count?’ and ‘Do I deserve to be listened to?’

If this is a question that you have asked a professional, or even just yourself, I would always strongly answer Yes, your experience counts, and deserves to be listened to.  I believe it is a natural human impulse to connect with others over our experiences, and the difficult, disturbing, or painful experiences that affect us deserve the space to be listened to, heard, and understood.

Several psychological and scientific theories have been used to describe and explain trauma, and its effect on the body and behaviour.  What has become widely understood is that traumatic events can take a huge variety of shapes and guises- from violent or life-threatening events, moments where you have been hurt or harmed by another person either physically or emotionally, illnesses and injuries, abusive or neglectful parenting, wars, global disasters… all of these things and more have been described through the lens of ‘trauma’.  Importantly, traumas can cause a variety of recognisable physiological effects, such as flashbacks; an increase in anxiety symptoms such as a racing heart, a tight or heavy feeling chest, muscle contractions, changes in vision, and fast, shallow breathing; panic attacks- or at the other end of the spectrum, feelings of being frozen, low heart rate, muscle weakness, low energy and feelings of depression; just to name a few.  In essence, it is widely understood that experiencing a traumatic event teaches our body and mind that the world we inhabit is unsafe.  The symptoms mentioned above are understood to be manifestations of the systems our body uses to keep ourselves safe, sometimes called the polyvagal system or fight, flight or freeze.

All of this is to say that, in short, both the causes and the effects of trauma can be wide-ranging.  When I am working with my clients, I aim to create an environment where they feel comfortable and safe to share their most difficult and painful experiences, if they wish to.  Polyvagal theory speaks to the powerful nature of co-regulation, working in partnership to create a sense of safety and calm, and I feel that part of a therapist’s role is to metaphorically walk alongside the client whilst they explore some of their most difficult experiences, helping create a sense of safety.  This, I feel, is highly complementary to the person-centred conditions of empathy, congruence, and unconditional positive regard, which I aim to foster with all my clients, no matter what their experiences.  (You can read more about these conditions in my earlier blog post).

Person-centred theory suggests that when clients are in psychological contact with their therapist, and receive the above-described conditions, they move through a process where they can become more accepting of themselves, their experiences and their feelings.  This, I believe, can make both traumatic memories and the physiological effects of trauma much easier to deal with.  One of the main aims of person-centred therapy is to support the client to become better in touch with their own needs, desires and senses. For clients who have experienced trauma, that might mean getting in touch with the way their body and mind sense danger and safety, accepting these processes and feeling more in alignment with them.

If you feel you have experienced trauma, and you are struggling to deal with the way it has affected you, then your experience counts, and therapy might help you feel better.