Family relationships are often some of the longest and most complex relationships in our lives. For many people, they are where early experiences of connection, difference and belonging take shape. Because of this, it is common for thoughts about family relationships to arise at different points in life, including when people begin therapy.

Many clients come to therapy wanting to talk about family relationships directly. This might include current relationships with parents, siblings or wider family, as well as experiences of closeness, distance or ongoing tension. Others arrive expecting that therapy will focus on their family of origin, even if they are not sure that is what they want to talk about. This expectation often comes from cultural ideas about therapy, including the influence of Freudian theory, which places a strong emphasis on childhood and early family dynamics in shaping who we become.

While family experiences can certainly be important, a person centred approach takes a slightly different view. Rather than assuming that family relationships must be the focus, person centred therapy begins with the client’s present experience. What matters most is what feels significant to you now, whether or not that involves family.

Carl Rogers wrote about the idea of conditions of worth, which describes how people can come to believe that they are valued or accepted only when they think, feel or behave in certain ways. These conditions often develop within early relationships, including family relationships, where approval, attention or affection may be experienced as more available at some times than others.

Over time, conditions of worth can influence how people relate to themselves and to others. For example, someone might learn to prioritise others’ needs, avoid conflict, or hide certain feelings in order to maintain connection. These patterns are not seen as faults or failures, but as understandable responses to early relational experiences.

In person centred therapy, the aim is not to analyse family members or to draw fixed conclusions about the past. Instead, the focus is on offering a relationship where acceptance is not dependent on meeting certain conditions. This can provide an opportunity to notice how conditions of worth may still be operating in the present, without needing to label or challenge them directly.

Some clients find that reflecting on family relationships helps them understand where certain expectations of themselves may have come from. Others may simply notice how they feel when talking about family, or how certain patterns repeat across different relationships. Therapy allows these observations to emerge naturally, guided by the client rather than by theory.

Whether family relationships become a central part of the work or not, person centred therapy remains led by you. There is no assumption about what should matter, and no pressure to explore any particular relationship or period of your life. What feels most relevant to you in the present moment is where the work begins.