Many people come to therapy with a quiet but persistent doubt in the background. A sense that they cannot quite trust their own thoughts, feelings, or reactions. They might say things like, “I don’t know if I’m overreacting,” “Maybe I’m just too sensitive,” or “I should be coping better than this.”

Often, this uncertainty has been around for a long time. It may show up in relationships, at work, or when making decisions. Therapy can become a place where this lack of trust is noticed for the first time.

Where does this doubt come from?

From a person-centred perspective, difficulties trusting ourselves are not seen as personal failings. Instead, they are often understood as something that develops in relationship and within a wider culture.

Carl Rogers wrote about the idea of conditions of worth. In simple terms, this refers to the messages we receive about when we are acceptable and when we are not. We may learn that certain feelings are welcomed, while others are discouraged or ignored. Over time, we can internalise the belief that some parts of us are more valid than others.

Alongside this, many of us grow up in a culture that places a strong emphasis on external authority. We are often taught, subtly and explicitly, to look to experts for answers rather than trusting our own experience. This can be helpful in some areas of life, but it becomes more complicated when applied to our inner worlds.

The problem with experts in mental health

When it comes to mental health, the idea of the expert can become particularly powerful. Therapists, psychiatrists, and psychologists can end up positioned as people who know more about our inner lives than we do ourselves.

From a person-centred point of view, this is deeply problematic. No matter how much training a therapist has, they do not have access to a client’s internal experience in the way the client does. They cannot feel what the client feels, or fully know what meanings events hold for them.

When therapists are placed in the role of expert, clients can begin to doubt themselves even more. They may defer to interpretations, diagnoses, or advice that do not quite fit, while pushing aside their own sense of what feels true. Over time, this can increase dependency and further erode trust in oneself.

Person-centred therapy takes a very different stance. It starts from the belief that the client is the expert on their own life, and that psychological growth happens when this expertise is supported rather than overridden.

Cultural ideas about human nature

Some of our difficulties trusting ourselves are also shaped by longstanding ideas about what humans are like at their core. Certain psychological theories, including aspects of Freudian theory, have contributed to a cultural belief that if left to our own devices, we are driven by destructive, selfish, or dangerous impulses.

From this viewpoint, people need to be controlled, analysed, or corrected in order to function well. Authority, interpretation, and restraint are seen as necessary to keep our darker instincts in check.

Rogers strongly disagreed with this idea. His work was grounded in a very different view of human nature. He believed that, given the right relational conditions, people naturally move towards growth, connection, and wellbeing. This does not mean people never experience anger, conflict, or harmful impulses. It means that these experiences are understood as responses to unmet needs or conditions of worth, rather than evidence that we are fundamentally bad.

From a person-centred perspective, the problem is not that people have too much freedom. It is that they often have too little psychological safety to be themselves.

Losing touch with an internal compass

When we grow up in environments that emphasise control, expertise, and external authority, we can lose touch with our internal compass. Decisions become harder. Self doubt increases. We may feel unsure which part of ourselves to listen to.

In therapy, this often shows up as clients asking the therapist what they think, or whether their feelings make sense. This is not a weakness. It is often the result of years of learning that other people’s views matter more than our own.

Rogers believed that humans have an innate actualising tendency. This is a natural drive towards growth and psychological health. When we are able to listen to ourselves and take our own experience seriously, this tendency tends to move us in life enhancing directions.

How person-centred therapy approaches this

In person-centred therapy, the therapist does not position themselves as the authority on what is right, healthy, or true for the client. Instead, the work is grounded in empathy, acceptance, and genuineness.

This means that your thoughts, feelings, and meanings are taken seriously, even if they feel contradictory, uncertain, or unfinished. There is no requirement to arrive at the correct insight or interpretation.

Over time, many clients notice subtle shifts. They may pause less often to check whether their feelings are valid. They may feel more able to name what they want or need. They may begin to trust their own sense of what feels right, even when it does not match external expectations.

Trusting yourself does not mean certainty

Learning to trust your own perspective does not mean becoming perfectly confident or decisive. It does not mean never doubting yourself again.

Often, it means being able to say, “This is how it feels to me right now,” without immediately dismissing or correcting that experience. Rogers described this as moving towards an internal locus of evaluation. Instead of relying primarily on others to tell us who we are or how we are doing, we begin to use our own experience as a meaningful guide.

Therapy as a place to practise listening inwardly

For many people, therapy is one of the first places where their inner world is met with curiosity rather than correction. This can feel unfamiliar, and sometimes unsettling.

There may be moments of not knowing, confusion, or uncertainty. From a person-centred perspective, these moments are not problems to solve. They are part of the process of reconnecting with oneself.

Gradually, as clients feel more accepted as they are, their own voice often becomes clearer. Not louder or more forceful, but more trustworthy.

Learning to trust yourself is not about rejecting support or expertise altogether. It is about staying connected to your own experience while being in relationship with others.

If trusting yourself feels difficult, you are not alone. Therapy can offer a space to explore this gently, without pressure to change or arrive at a particular outcome. Often, the work begins not with fixing self doubt, but with allowing it to be understood.