Exploring the heart of person-centred therapy, and why UPR is both achievable and essential.

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If you’ve read my simple guide to person-centred therapy, or if you’ve explored person-centred theory before, you might have come across the term unconditional positive regard — or UPR, for short. According to Carl Rogers, the founder of this approach, it’s one of the essential conditions for therapy to be effective.

But what does it really mean? And is it even possible?

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What is unconditional positive regard?

Unconditional positive regard is the therapist’s deep acceptance of the client, no matter what they bring. It’s not about approving of every action, but about valuing the person as they are, without judgment or condition.

This can raise eyebrows. Critics argue that unconditional acceptance could encourage harmful behaviour, or that it’s an unrealistic expectation — after all, therapists are human too, and likely to have their own reactions to certain behaviours or attitudes.

But for person-centred therapists, there’s a different way to understand it.

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A belief in the actualising tendency

Carl Rogers believed in what he called the actualising tendency — the idea that every living thing is always trying to grow, survive, and thrive in the best way it can, given its circumstances.

He illustrated this with a simple image: a potato, left in a dark cellar, still grows long, twisted shoots towards the light. Even in poor conditions, it reaches for life.

In the same way, we humans are always doing our best to move towards growth, even if our paths look crooked or strange to others. Life pressures, hardships, and the judgements of others can distort our journey, but at our core, we are striving to survive and even flourish.

If a therapist genuinely believes in this natural drive within every person, it becomes much easier to offer unconditional positive regard. Choices that may seem puzzling or even destructive from the outside often make sense when we understand the person’s circumstances. Behaviours that look difficult may have developed as ways to survive painful situations.

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Why unconditional positive regard matters

So why does this attitude matter in therapy? Why not simply point out a client’s mistakes so they can change?

Offering advice or criticism can set up a dynamic where the therapist becomes the expert in the client’s life. This can create feelings of dependency or resentment, which may lead to an unhelpful dynamic between therapist and client.

Instead, person-centred therapy aims to empower clients to see themselves as the true experts in their own experience. The goal isn’t to foster dependency, but to encourage independence and self-trust.

Unconditional positive regard plays a crucial role in this. When clients feel fully accepted — even in the parts of themselves they’ve been taught to hide — they begin to feel safe enough to explore those parts. Without fear of judgment, they can look honestly at their experiences, rather than distorting or denying them.

And in this honest exploration, growth and change can begin.

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Is it really possible?

It might sound like a tall order. But unconditional positive regard isn’t about perfection — it’s about meeting our clients with understanding, and trusting that from this place of acceptance, real growth can begin.