For the past year and a half, I’ve had the privilege of working as a counsellor with a domestic abuse charity in Brighton. The training has been invaluable, helping me recognise patterns of control and understand the psychological impact of abuse. The real learning, though, has come from the people I’ve sat with each week.

In my work offering domestic abuse therapy in Brighton, I meet individuals who are thoughtful, capable and perceptive, often far more than they realise. When they first arrive in therapy, there is usually a thread running through how they speak about themselves: a lack of self-belief.

Domestic abuse is not rare. According to the UK Office for National Statistics, around 7.8% of over 16s have experienced domestic abuse in the past year alone. Behind those numbers are individual stories, each one different in its detail. While no two relationships look exactly the same, many share a common dynamic: a gradual erosion of the survivor’s sense of self.

That erosion does not usually happen all at once. It is often cumulative. A comment that chips away at confidence. A pattern of control that limits independence. Messages, spoken or implied, that suggest you are not capable or that you would not manage without the other person. When those messages are repeated over time, they can begin to feel like facts rather than distortions.

It makes sense, then, that when someone leaves that environment, they do not simply bounce back. This is often where relationship abuse counselling or therapy for relationship issues in Brighton can offer support. Research from organisations such as Women’s Aid shows that emotional and psychological abuse can have lasting effects on self-esteem and identity, often continuing after the relationship has ended.

What I have found most striking in my work is not just the impact of abuse, but the process of undoing it. There are moments in therapy that can be easy to overlook. A client speaks with a little more certainty than they did before. They recognise a strength in themselves without dismissing it. They begin to question the messages they have carried for so long.

The work is not about fixing someone. It is about creating the conditions where they can start to see themselves more clearly. To reconnect with their own judgement, preferences and voice. Often, those things were never lost entirely, they were pushed into the background.

If you have been in a relationship that has left you feeling smaller, less certain or disconnected from who you are, seeking therapy for relationship issues in Brighton may help you begin to make sense of what you have experienced.

Finding yourself again is not a dramatic transformation. It is often gradual. It might look like trusting your own decisions a little more, speaking up where you might once have stayed silent or allowing yourself to take up space without apology.

If you are looking for domestic abuse therapy in Brighton or relationship abuse counselling, working together might offer a space to begin that process. Please feel free to get in touch to discuss whether I might be the right therapist for you.