What is good therapy?

Good therapy is a quiet revolution that takes place between two people.  It is the rare, precious opportunity to be heard by another individual- who does not claim expertise over your life or experience, who does not hand out advice or direction, or usher you towards a predestined conclusion or ‘ideal’ way of being.  This kind of therapy, where the therapist’s only endeavour is to listen, to understand without pre-judgment, to ‘take a walk in your shoes’ and really sense where you are and how you got there; and to offer you the genuine, humane assessment that you are OK, in all your fallible, creative, stilted or stuck, or growthful, or destructive humanity; is the revolution.  It is a rebellion against the systems we live in, that remind us we must achieve, produce, behave ourselves; and a staunch rebellion against the paternalism in our institutions, governments, healthcare systems that tell us the doctor, teacher, professional is the expert- and that it is your duty to comply with expertise. 

This kind of therapy is such a far departure from the capitalist model we are steeped in here in the UK, that clients often come to me expecting me to point out what is wrong with them, and guide them in a ‘better’ direction.  It is the reason why I am often asked if I specialise in any particular presentation- oughtn’t I be an expert on abuse, or OCD, perhaps, or trauma.  I am a proud expert on nothing.  Whilst I listen with curiosity and care to as many unique experiences of abuse, or OCD, trauma, hoarding, grief, ‘personality disorder’ or- too many begin to list; and equip myself to begin to understand what those experiences might be like for you- my duty is to approach your experience with the humility that it is yours alone and that your way forward is yours alone, and that you know that way better than anyone else can- if only someone can provide the environment of listening that opens you awareness to your own knowing.  

If this is the kind of therapy you are interested in, contact me to book a 30-minute exploratory call.